As I stood on the precipice of a significant milestone—turning 40—I was compelled to reflect on the tumultuous journey of the past 8 years. The battle with Young Onset Parkinson's Disease (YOPD) and its aftermath, particularly after childbirth, has been a long road of confronting and overcoming not just the physical aspects but mental adversities as well. It's been a decade punctuated by moments of despair, driven by the myriad of symptoms that accompany PD—a narrative all too familiar yet often shrouded in silence and shame.

The Challenge of Hyper Sexism brought on by Parkinson’s Medication

One of the lesser-discussed side effects of Parkinson's medication is its potential to exacerbate issues of self-image and sexuality—a phenomenon I've come to understand intimately. The medication, while lifesaving, can have side effects that feel akin to Hyper Sexism, intensifying feelings of being out of sync with one's body and sexuality. This aspect of PD medications, is often cloaked under a bed of so many other symptoms that, many don’t talk about it and suffer in silence and confusion.

A Resolution for Self-Love and Acceptance

The year I turned 40 I set forth a resolution that marked the beginning of a new chapter—a pledge to love and embrace my body for the incredible journey it has endured. This resolution was not just about acceptance but about transformation and healing. Amidst the physical and mental challenges posed by PD, including the relentless dyskinesia, sleepless nights, and the physical pain that often felt overwhelming, I sought to find peace and empowerment.

‘The Boudoir Shoot Experience’

In an act of defiance against my insecurities and the debilitating effects of PD, I embarked on a boudoir photography session. It was a decision that tested my resolve to its core, especially as I grappled with the worst of my symptoms. Yet, this experience became a pivotal moment of self-reclamation. Despite the dyskinesia, the uncontrollable movements, and the fear of vulnerability, I emerged from the shoot transformed—imbued with a newfound sense of self-love and a deep appreciation for my body's resilience.

Posted on IG: June 3, 2022

“My new year's resolution this year was to start loving and embracing my body for the incredible journey it has been on. I am turning 40 at the end of this year and looking back I realized that I had spent the majority of my 30's feeling so ashamed and embarrassed of all the physical mental dysfunctions that happen with Parkinson’s Disease and after having a baby I definitely did not feel sexy. So I challenged myself to do a boudoir shoot.

There are some days where I really get frustrated and just can’t control the spikes and off periods in my meds every 3 hours. The hot flashes, drenched in sweat, the nights where I don’t sleep at all because of the restless dyskinesia, the back pain the major twitching that feels like your being jolted by an electric current. Its those days that I really fucking hate my body and I just want 24 hours of feeling calm and normal. Its those days that I have to love her the most. I am grateful for her keeping me present and even more grateful for the moments that I feel a euphoric wave of calm wash over me.

But what if there was a way to regulate the medication better? The medication that is being prescribed to women with PD has been developed for men…. NOT Women. News Flash - the hormones in a women’s brain go through 4 different phases a month. So while our bodies might be producing a lot of dopamine and serotonin one week a week later it’s totally different. We need a better solution!

The day I did this shoot… was one of my 3 most shitty days of the month. I almost cancelled, I almost turned the car around, but I am so glad I didn’t. The dyskinesia from my meds had my body twitching and contorting my limbs like crazy. But I did it. And I did it because I wanted prove to myself that it was still possible. And I am really happy I went for it. I honestly left the shoot feeling like an entirely new woman, accepting and loving my body for everything its able to manage and feeling SEXY!

I hope that this message will allow other women with PD suffering in shame and silence to step forward and advocate for better Medical treatments. Embrace your body, because it is so beautiful!!!! ✨❤️🥳.”

Advocacy for Tailored Medical Treatments

The journey has also illuminated a critical gap in our medical system—the glaring oversight in the development of PD medications, which predominantly cater to male physiology. The call for gender-specific research and treatment is not just a plea for inclusivity but a demand for equity. Women with PD face unique challenges, exacerbated by hormonal fluctuations that can significantly impact the effectiveness of medication. It's time for the medical community to acknowledge and address these differences.

A Message of Hope and Solidarity

My journey, through the lens of my boudoir shoot and the daily battles with PD is narrative I share in the hopes of reaching other women who, like me, have felt marginalized by their condition. This is a call to embrace our bodies, to find beauty in our battles, and to advocate for medical advancements that recognize and cater to our unique needs.

Let this message serve as a beacon of hope and a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there's an opportunity for transformation and healing. Embrace your journey, for it is in the acceptance of our struggles that we uncover our true strength and beauty.